Trifecta

As of today, October 8, 2014, I am just a day over a week into the life quality shaking-up cleanse known as the detox.  Although a decision made entirely on my own as there are few to no excuses to break this detox (holidays, for example) when I found out there are others I know, mostly co-workers, who are also partaking in this cleanse, I realized there is a trend going on around this known by the hashtag #soberOctober.  Who knew?

It's been great.  At the very beginning, there was a bit of weakness.  I moved recently and unpacked a bottle of wine and moving in itself to me seemed like a great call for a celebration. Now, I'll admit if it weren't for the others I knew who were also doing #soberOctober, I may have cheated a little.  Having a support system ... rather I don't really have that since I'm not calling anyone in  times of weakness ... but when you take that step to announce to a large audience that you are partaking in a month of no drinking, it sets up a person accountability, and if you fail, you either have to admit defeat, or if the subject is brought up, let people know you weren't strong. You were weak, you failed, you cheated, or any other negative association with not accomplishing a goal.

Even in the beginning, although I knew I wanted to do this month of sobriety, I wasn't necessarily ready to announce it to my friends through Facebook. The reasoning being that I'd know I was being accountable for my actions should I not have succeeded, and then either admitting defeat or lying about cheating would burn through me.  And let's face it, saying you can stay sober and then not staying sober really has a terrible stigma in our society.

I don't necessarily have the healthiest relationship with alcohol.  I've had rough times and negative things have come out of it.  Almost ruining relationships, losing a lot of money, and an overall feeling of not being the healthiest I could be when health and fitness are top priorities in my life with the exception of being able to drink.  It helps me escape my introversion a little bit.  Let's me be wild and carefree.  But the teeter totter of "am I an alcoholic?" is probably a bit heavy and best left for another time.

This post is to be focused on the announcement of my personal #soberOctober and, hopefully, the month of blogging to go alongside of it.

The best introduction to dealing with this month is how the beginning of it has played out, which before a month of sobriety was even an idea.  What began sometime over the past month or so is something I have, in the past, called the Trifecta.  My own personal trifecta of three major life attributes that create a sort of quality of life... I'm describing that terribly and know there is a better way to put it, but it's early and I'm knocking this blog out so I can get my checklist of errands to run today taken care of.

The Trifecta, and how staying sober for the past week has effected it, starts out with what I like to call
Phase #1

A New Home:
This has been the most refreshing part of my trifecta.  I'm so happy I can say that now, because before the beginning of the month it was the cause of a major amount of stress in my life.  Having to move was a result of my previous roommate, who I was paying to stay with him in his home, and how he had decided he was ready to live on his own.  So I started looking for apartments here and there, while also trying to get myself financially stable to set up for a move.

Then there was a wrench thrown into the mix.  My roommate had told me that at the beginning of October, his sister and her family would be staying in his apartment for a short visit.  Sooo I had about a month to vacate.  Still not terribly ready to move, I took to Craigslist to see what viable options I had.

I emailed dozens of people, replied to countless ads, wrote about what a fun yet organized young man I am, and attached my Facebook link to the emails.  Out of all of that, I had a reply from two people.  By the time I met the first set of people, was invited to fill out a credit check, I forgot about the 2nd email I received.  This apartment I was applying for had it all.  Location on the lake on the 20th floor of a high rise, rooming with two girls and two cats.  The rent was ridiculously cheap all things considered.
Long story short, I didn't get the apartment, they picked someone else I guess, and I found out about that the day before I had to move.  I had a mild meltdown.  I then found out my coworker had just found out one of her roommates was ditching on the lease, so I came to see the place and moved in the next day.  The location isn't as great, it's a ground floor unit, and I would have three roommates, and the rent was quite a bit higher than the other place.  So all in all, a much, much less desirable deal but it was one I had to take last minute.

How is #soberOctober playing into this mix?  I'm saving money.  And I need to, because this place is a bit out of my budget right now.  So not going out spending $40+ a few nights a week has been a good thing.

Speaking of my budget, that brings me to Phase #2 of the Trifecta.

A New Job:
I've recently taken a low paying, mindless job at a local high end gym chain where I will be working probably only until I start attending school next fall.  I will be keeping my current job where I work mostly nights, and this gym job will be during the day.  Not only is it a little bit of extra cash flow coming my way, but I believe I will qualify for benefits.  One benefit I already qualify for which I am excited about is a free membership.  My beloved Cheetah gym, after being there for a year, has nearly doubled my membership dues monthly, so it's time we part ways and I save that chunk of money monthly, and use a much, much, much nicer facility with quite a wealth of locations throughout the city, that would normally cost me the same amount as Cheetah, but it's nicer, and free.

#soberOctober could not be a better time to start a new job, especially at a gym!  I go in feeling healthy and spry and am by best me there.  I take in all the new information coming my way and have the capacity to retain more information... you know, because I'm not hungover.  It's a good thing.

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Now, Phase #3 of the Trifecta is an interesting one, because while I'd hate to admit it's something I need, it all goes with the Trifecta and it always has since I first experienced this "phenomenon", as it were, as it came about in my life a couple times in my adulthood before I assigned a name to it.

A New Man:
The Trifecta of a a refreshed course of life involves, within a small span of time, a new apartment, a new job, and someone new in your life with whom to experience everything.

As with most people, the path in life of relationships with people is a complicated one.  This past year of my adventure is a... ... and words escape me.  Let's just say this blog has seen better days as dwelling on the more personal aspects of my life has taken precedence and this is not the place to share those experiences.  Not yet anyway.  And maybe, fingers crossed, the time won't come to write about it because that part of my life will, in retrospect, be less significant than I found it to be in this past year.

In regards to my #soberOctober quest, the relation of dating and drinking hasn't been widely explored, but there has been an instance that I thought of as an interest experiment.  It was this weekend at work when my co-worker pulled me aside and informed me of the gentleman not 20 feet away who fancied my jive and wanted in on a bit of the action.  I took the phone number that my friend at work passed along to me and I used it later that evening to text this person who I was informed was very good looking.

We ended up meeting for dinner at a local Italian restaurant.  Italian food.  Pasta.  Bread.  Wine.
I mulled over the plans after they had been made in the hours leading up to meet this gentleman caller.  Do we wine and dine?  Is it worth it?  Am I a better date with a little bit of fluid in my veins?

This was day 2 or 3 of my #soberOctober venture, and I informed him that this was something I was trying out as we set up the date.  After we met, we sat down as he asked me a little about it.  I explained it in less detail than I have here, and when our waiter greeted our table we both agreed that, "water's fine."

The date went well enough.  Well, he's from San Francisco so he really has no effect on my life.  We continued the good conversation, ate a great meal, enjoyed our hydrating glasses of water, took a leisurely stroll, and ended the night with a standard agreement to keep in touch.

So it look like I can socialize and not drink. It was definitely worth a try and I'm satisfied with the results.  I still have a little over 3 weeks of experimentation with this not drinking ordeal which means many more opportunities to try things I would normally associate with drinking while resisting having even a drop.  Go out to the bars?  Shouldn't be too bad.  A house party?  That may be more challenging.  I've already agreed that Halloween would be the day to end this run, but who knows?  In the coming weeks, maybe my body and mind, refreshed, will be telling me something else.

The Bug

As I sit here and type, there are a couple breaks being taken for my right hand's finger nails to dig at the large lump on my left forearm that appeared yesterday assumingly after something had bitten me.  So as I sit here wishing I had some Gold Bond to relieve my discomfort, I couldn't help but wonder... maybe there was a bigger itch that I needed to scratch?

Today, Delta Airlines announced non stop service from Seattle to Incheon, the airport serving the city of Seoul, South Korea.  I've been bitten by the travel bug several times in the past, and now it's been taking a big dig at me.  Seeing friends fleeing the comfort of their city to travel around our very own country or even further abroad, I'm still broadening my horizons in this metropolis that feels like a limitless small country in its own.  So I feel slightly conflicted ... while I have this traveling itch inside of me, should I bother scratching that while I still have barely scratched the surface of Chicago?

So why mention South Korea?  Growing up in Seattle, you felt like you were in the middle of nowhere a lot of the time.  No major cities north, south, east, or west... not within driving distance, anyway.  Europe wasn't just across the pond, it was that plus the rest of this continent.  Then the pond on the other side, which actually is the world's largest ocean, offered no visibility short of a 12 hours flight... minimum.

Now with this major American airline edging its face towards the West Coast, perhaps its time to arrange a trip back to Seattle... as a stop over for a great adventure.

I've travelled alone before.  To certain cities in the country, once over to the very northern European country of Iceland, and its just fine.  But something else that's been getting to me is the need for companionship, and to share these big moments in life with that certain someone special.  Is it really reasonable, however, to postpone making these large trip plans until you're certain you've found the one who will be able to share the stories of said adventures amongst your collective group of friends?

Before I plan a transpacific trip to South Korea, should I wait until I have someone to go with me, and hope I can travel there with my Seoul mate?

Time will tell.  At least wait until you're ready to make that trip, and maybe when that time comes when you're ready to head over to Incheon, than that itch will be gone.  Or maybe waiting really is a risk worth taking.  After all, it's like what they say; you dim sum, you lose some.

Full Circle

Two days from now will be a year that I've been here in Chicago.

My first post to this blog was exactly one year ago yesterday, so it would have been pretty nice to write on that momentous occasion. Alas, I've all but forgotten this blog ... well, that's not exactly true.  I'm quite aware it exists, but don't really have the same drive to document my life as I had before when there were more major changes afoot. Yet there's been a major change!  Months ago, in fact.  Yet this year I have only posted 1 other blog here, so here's to #2.

What's this big change, you ask?  Nothing that exciting.  Just a new job working in Boystown again.  No big deal, so we can change topics now.

This past weekend was an event that sort of made me realize things have come full circle here in Chicago.  This past weekend was not only Memorial Day weekend, but also IML weekend.  IML is International Mr. Leather, a 5 day leather event in downtown Chicago that I think is something like the Magnum Cum Laude of leather events around the country.  While I attended this event, I noticed a lot of titles like Mr Iowa Leather and Mr. Memphis Leather, etc.  So being given the title of International Mr. Leather sounds rather a salient title to be bestowed upon an individual who's involved in that scene.

Why I say this event means things have come full circle is because last year, the weekend before I moved to Chicago, was IML weekend.  A couple friends missed my going away party that weekend because they had gone to Chicago for the event, and by next weekend I was in Chicago.  The weekend after that I attended my first festival, Andersonville's Midsommerfest, and started attending many other festivals and events throughout the summer and the rest of the year from there on out.  I missed IML by less than a week so it's really the last event there was for me to attend, and so I spent the entire weekend there.

It wasn't planned to spend the entire weekend, but I happened to fall into a situation of convenience, where I had a couple friends in from out of town staying at the hotel that hosts the event, we hung out for the first day of the event, and we basically spent the entire weekend together.  We walked around the hotel - shopping, observing events and demonstrations, chilling in their room with cocktails and music, and we also spent some time up in my neck of the woods, which is Boystown.  We brunched, bar hopped, and drank too much while basking in the sun.

Back at the hotel, I gave my camera a bit of practice because that's also something that has been set aside a bit lately.  I've had a couple great shoots wandering around in the snow since my last posts, but really... snow gets a bit old after 5 months, believe it or not.

Pretty fun shots without any expensive equipment.  A more professional set up with lights would have been great to eliminate some shadows, but I was just sort of snapping away while sitting in a nearby chair.

That's what's been up.  I have a new job and the penultimate punctuation of my first year in Chicago was one of the world's largest leather conventions.  How about that.

Hopefully my next piece on here won't be too far from now, since my actual year anniversary is in 2 days.  Oh, and yes I did buy a harness.

Step by Step

Okay, it's been a while, I know.  And a lot has happened, really!  I've thought about updating, but I never got around to it.

So you know how I quit the bar, then I quit LA Fitness right after that?  Well it hasn't been exactly smooth sailing since, other than now I have a focus for somewhere to go in life.  Now I don't remember what I divulged the last time I wrote so I may be repeating myself.

A certain someone in my life opened the opportunity to intern for this person who has some sort of digital media company.  That's about all I know about him.  My friend, who works for the Art Institute, was going to set it up for me and had me do some mock compositions, such as fake ads as well as retouching photos I've taken.

Other than that, I didn't get much direction.  He told me what to do with the photos, I'd send them to him, and he'd tell me what I did wrong.  It would be frustrating since he seemed to have the expectations of a graphic design student, which I never have been, but he was at least helpful to point me in the right direction and teach me some new techniques.

With that, however, there was a great lack of communication.  I seemed to have deadlines, but when I would show him my work close to the deadline, he would tell me how to improve it, and then send it when I'm done.  So deadlines kept getting extended, and I had never even talked to this person he was going to set me up with.  And as these deadlines were extending, and I was still working, part of my focus went somewhere else.

Seattle was doing well in football.  We made the playoffs.  We made it to the Super Bowl.  We were picked to win by many people who know a God damned thing about the sport.  I had to be there.  I had no job.  No responsibilities.  And if I needed to finish these art projects, I could do so from 1,700 miles away as well.  So I booked my ticket to Seattle.  About a week later, I get a call saying I need to meet this person the coming weekend.  I said I couldn't because I'd be out of town.  That's when I learned that this person I was supposed to intern for was leaving back to his hometown of Las Vegas the following week when I would be gone.  That's where the lack of communication came in.  I didn't know this guy didn't live here.  I didn't know what the deadlines were, when they were, when we were supposed to meet, etc.  So that's kind of fallen to shit, except my friend told me to contact the guy via Facebook and let him know I exist and what my intentions and interests are.  So I put that out there, and that's that.

So all in all, it didn't pan out as I'd hoped.  However, it did give me sort of an idea of what the hell I want to do with myself.  Focus on my photography.  Focus on my skills and ability with photo editing and manipulation.  See if I can make something out of this.  After I qualify for in-state tuition in the state of Illinois, I can go to school.  Study up on graphic design.  Also, study business.  Start my own business somewhere down the line.  Make a plan.

Since then, I've been out taking photos a lot.  Here in the winter time is a great time to find inspiration in nature.  That's provided me with some great shots; a couple of my favorite are as follows:

Since I plan to start a business someday, I've also been wanting to work at getting my stuff out there.  So I created my own Facebook page for my photography, called Angel Vazquez Photography & Digital Media (Like it!).

That's been what I've been up to since I've been unemployed.  And now things are getting tight.  Luckily my tax return was a bit more substantial that I had anticipated so it's helped me survive the past couple months, and has helped me not regret taking that extended (almost 2 week) trip to Seattle, where we completely embarrassed the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl, by the way.

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In other news, my phone was stolen last week.  I had a bit too much to drink, fell asleep on the train on the way home, woke up, and I had no phone.  That has added a lot of complication to my life, as it was a new phone, with a new provider, and since I hadn't had a chance to turn on a device locating service, and didn't realize with T-Mobile you have to back up your contacts (?) apparently.  So everything was gone.  All my contacts, photos, texts from the past week.  All gone.

When I got my replacement phone in the mail, it was initially a happy thing until I found out about all these complications.  But all in all I was happy to finally be connected to the world again.  Being unemployed and without a phone, I really felt I had nothing going on.  So I took a lot of photos and marathoned a lot of Netflix shows.

Alas, in the same day as I got my phone, I also was told I had been offered a position in a job that I applied for the day before.  It's at a restaurant so it's nothing all that fancy, but it'll keep my head above water so I can pay off my substantial debts I've accrued in this unemployment period and finally be able to treat once again, here and there.  Just until I can figure out, step by step, where to reach the next chapter of my life.

And of course using Grindr as a wonderful resource.