It's been great. At the very beginning, there was a bit of weakness. I moved recently and unpacked a bottle of wine and moving in itself to me seemed like a great call for a celebration. Now, I'll admit if it weren't for the others I knew who were also doing #soberOctober, I may have cheated a little. Having a support system ... rather I don't really have that since I'm not calling anyone in times of weakness ... but when you take that step to announce to a large audience that you are partaking in a month of no drinking, it sets up a person accountability, and if you fail, you either have to admit defeat, or if the subject is brought up, let people know you weren't strong. You were weak, you failed, you cheated, or any other negative association with not accomplishing a goal.
Even in the beginning, although I knew I wanted to do this month of sobriety, I wasn't necessarily ready to announce it to my friends through Facebook. The reasoning being that I'd know I was being accountable for my actions should I not have succeeded, and then either admitting defeat or lying about cheating would burn through me. And let's face it, saying you can stay sober and then not staying sober really has a terrible stigma in our society.
I don't necessarily have the healthiest relationship with alcohol. I've had rough times and negative things have come out of it. Almost ruining relationships, losing a lot of money, and an overall feeling of not being the healthiest I could be when health and fitness are top priorities in my life with the exception of being able to drink. It helps me escape my introversion a little bit. Let's me be wild and carefree. But the teeter totter of "am I an alcoholic?" is probably a bit heavy and best left for another time.
This post is to be focused on the announcement of my personal #soberOctober and, hopefully, the month of blogging to go alongside of it.
The best introduction to dealing with this month is how the beginning of it has played out, which before a month of sobriety was even an idea. What began sometime over the past month or so is something I have, in the past, called the Trifecta. My own personal trifecta of three major life attributes that create a sort of quality of life... I'm describing that terribly and know there is a better way to put it, but it's early and I'm knocking this blog out so I can get my checklist of errands to run today taken care of.
The Trifecta, and how staying sober for the past week has effected it, starts out with what I like to call
Phase #1
A New Home:
This has been the most refreshing part of my trifecta. I'm so happy I can say that now, because before the beginning of the month it was the cause of a major amount of stress in my life. Having to move was a result of my previous roommate, who I was paying to stay with him in his home, and how he had decided he was ready to live on his own. So I started looking for apartments here and there, while also trying to get myself financially stable to set up for a move.
Then there was a wrench thrown into the mix. My roommate had told me that at the beginning of October, his sister and her family would be staying in his apartment for a short visit. Sooo I had about a month to vacate. Still not terribly ready to move, I took to Craigslist to see what viable options I had.
I emailed dozens of people, replied to countless ads, wrote about what a fun yet organized young man I am, and attached my Facebook link to the emails. Out of all of that, I had a reply from two people. By the time I met the first set of people, was invited to fill out a credit check, I forgot about the 2nd email I received. This apartment I was applying for had it all. Location on the lake on the 20th floor of a high rise, rooming with two girls and two cats. The rent was ridiculously cheap all things considered.
Long story short, I didn't get the apartment, they picked someone else I guess, and I found out about that the day before I had to move. I had a mild meltdown. I then found out my coworker had just found out one of her roommates was ditching on the lease, so I came to see the place and moved in the next day. The location isn't as great, it's a ground floor unit, and I would have three roommates, and the rent was quite a bit higher than the other place. So all in all, a much, much less desirable deal but it was one I had to take last minute.
How is #soberOctober playing into this mix? I'm saving money. And I need to, because this place is a bit out of my budget right now. So not going out spending $40+ a few nights a week has been a good thing.
Speaking of my budget, that brings me to Phase #2 of the Trifecta.
A New Job:
I've recently taken a low paying, mindless job at a local high end gym chain where I will be working probably only until I start attending school next fall. I will be keeping my current job where I work mostly nights, and this gym job will be during the day. Not only is it a little bit of extra cash flow coming my way, but I believe I will qualify for benefits. One benefit I already qualify for which I am excited about is a free membership. My beloved Cheetah gym, after being there for a year, has nearly doubled my membership dues monthly, so it's time we part ways and I save that chunk of money monthly, and use a much, much, much nicer facility with quite a wealth of locations throughout the city, that would normally cost me the same amount as Cheetah, but it's nicer, and free.
#soberOctober could not be a better time to start a new job, especially at a gym! I go in feeling healthy and spry and am by best me there. I take in all the new information coming my way and have the capacity to retain more information... you know, because I'm not hungover. It's a good thing.
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Now, Phase #3 of the Trifecta is an interesting one, because while I'd hate to admit it's something I need, it all goes with the Trifecta and it always has since I first experienced this "phenomenon", as it were, as it came about in my life a couple times in my adulthood before I assigned a name to it.
A New Man:
The Trifecta of a a refreshed course of life involves, within a small span of time, a new apartment, a new job, and someone new in your life with whom to experience everything.
As with most people, the path in life of relationships with people is a complicated one. This past year of my adventure is a... ... and words escape me. Let's just say this blog has seen better days as dwelling on the more personal aspects of my life has taken precedence and this is not the place to share those experiences. Not yet anyway. And maybe, fingers crossed, the time won't come to write about it because that part of my life will, in retrospect, be less significant than I found it to be in this past year.
In regards to my #soberOctober quest, the relation of dating and drinking hasn't been widely explored, but there has been an instance that I thought of as an interest experiment. It was this weekend at work when my co-worker pulled me aside and informed me of the gentleman not 20 feet away who fancied my jive and wanted in on a bit of the action. I took the phone number that my friend at work passed along to me and I used it later that evening to text this person who I was informed was very good looking.
We ended up meeting for dinner at a local Italian restaurant. Italian food. Pasta. Bread. Wine.
I mulled over the plans after they had been made in the hours leading up to meet this gentleman caller. Do we wine and dine? Is it worth it? Am I a better date with a little bit of fluid in my veins?
This was day 2 or 3 of my #soberOctober venture, and I informed him that this was something I was trying out as we set up the date. After we met, we sat down as he asked me a little about it. I explained it in less detail than I have here, and when our waiter greeted our table we both agreed that, "water's fine."
The date went well enough. Well, he's from San Francisco so he really has no effect on my life. We continued the good conversation, ate a great meal, enjoyed our hydrating glasses of water, took a leisurely stroll, and ended the night with a standard agreement to keep in touch.
So it look like I can socialize and not drink. It was definitely worth a try and I'm satisfied with the results. I still have a little over 3 weeks of experimentation with this not drinking ordeal which means many more opportunities to try things I would normally associate with drinking while resisting having even a drop. Go out to the bars? Shouldn't be too bad. A house party? That may be more challenging. I've already agreed that Halloween would be the day to end this run, but who knows? In the coming weeks, maybe my body and mind, refreshed, will be telling me something else.
