Wow, it's really been a while since I've posted here. I mean I at least though I wrote a bit about my progress in October when I was doing #soberoctober, but I guess that's not the case. Pity!
In case you wanted to know, it went very well! It was tough and since I work in Boystown which is Chicago's own devil's playground of temptation and ease of access; the availability of the booze and the chance to falter were endless. I'm proud to say I persevered and I celebrated with my first drink in the evening of October 31... because, duh, Halloween.
After that stint, I became a regular ole' alcoholic once again. Drinking too much and spending too much money. My goals were still in my head but the stresses of work and life set me off in a chain reaction of drink after drink a few nights a week to the point where I was missing gym days because I was too hungover, and wasn't eating right because my body wasn't feeling it, or I didn't have the will to go to the grocery store, or because when my body feels like it's dying, a Tostino's personal pizza sounds so much better than chicken, kale, or greek yogurt.
I've thought about going back on this 1 month without drinking here and there. I even would say to myself, "let's just go a week and that will be good for you." It never worked. I gave myself no liability. No one knew if I cheated except for myself, and so what? If I felt guilty, that would be drowned out by alcohol. Well, except those certain special mornings you wake up still drunk and realize, how much did I spend??
Recently a friend confided in me about some issues he was having in his life and had had in the past as a result of poor decisions he was making about substance abuse. While the severity of it didn't resonate with my personal issues, I could still somewhat relate. He had entered himself into an outpatient rehab program which really impressed me, and since he and I spend so much time together and I really wanted to be a supportive friend and mostly because I know my choices have hindered the progress of my goals, I decided I would spend the month of April -- at the bare minimum -- without imbibing in alcohol. I'm not fully convinced of this next part, but perhaps with his success in the program going forward, even when the month is over I can have him as my support in making better choices not to be such a wild child anymore. A wild child who is almost 30.
The first step in this process, as I did back in November, is to make sure I tell people. Then I have liability which at least to me is very, very important. I don't want to be judged and I don't want to let anyone down. So at around 1pm on March 31, I announced on Facebook that I would be doing #alcoholfreeapril and invited whoever else wanted to join with me to speak up and we can all support each other and even hang out when everyone else is out getting sloshed... I only wish I knew of a cool juice bar or smoothie place, because Jamba Juice would also definitely be going against my goals for healthy living.
Several people actually spoke up! And by several I mean about 7 or 8, but that's a handful more than who vowed to do it with me back in October, and let me tell you... the people who gave interest in it back in October left me highly disappointed. Most of them were obviously very aloof about the whole thing... saying they would do it to feel better about themselves but obviously having no serious, deeply rooted interest in it. Most were coworkers at the bar I am at, and one or two days into it they'd be sitting at the bar with a drink in front of them, and jokingly look at my judgmental glances and retort with some banter of, "I'm so weak!" followed by an uncaring laugh. It's not a joke to me as it is to them so I didn't laugh with them as they expected no doubt, as they see their drinking as this social excuse to be silly. This month is not about being silly and social at the helm of Captain Alcohol. It's about sticking with your goals and doing what you can to get there... though silliness and being social are in no way out of the picture. I just need to do them with a little less help from this toxic substance.
With that, I want to announce that this month I am also going to be more on top of this blog. There's the liability statement I need to make to be sure I don't let anyone down and I stick to it, and here's to an exciting month of avoiding alcohol, more writing, getting that summer body ready, saving money, and supporting friends!
Cheers!
