Or so I thought.
There was finally a position in a gym for me, with my certification shiny and ready to be used, from a gym that contacted me; I didn't have to do the grunt work! I wasn't even looking. Shouldn't that have been a tell-tale sign all along? Yes. It should have.
LA Fitness is a big box gym, the biggest gym chain in the country I believe. A facility where people pay money to go to work on themselves, each setting different goals to be where they want to be either healthfully or aesthetically. LA Fitness provides lots of machines and weights and other such gym accessories for those looking to meet those goals. But God. At what cost?
It's an attractive value. Many locations for a cheap price. Open long hours during the day so you can go just about anytime you'd like. There's even a personal training department to help you evaluate your goals, and with us, we can help you figure out the most efficient and effective way for you to accomplish them!
That's where I come in. Hi, I'm Angel and I'm with the training department. Can I interest you in a person training assessment, free of charge, to help you accomplish the goals you're striving for here today?
Oh, you're busy... right, you're working out. And you have headphones on. Okay, no need to be rude. Just doing my job.
* * *
From day one on the job, I met the two guys I'd be working with. Both having been personal trainers who are now Fitness Directors at the LA Fitness location at which I'd be working. Introductions, yada yada -- here, Angel. Here's a clipboard with a blank piece of paper. Go sell training.
"Umm, so what do I do? I mean, can you show me how it's done first?"
"Oh, I guess you can shadow me for a bit."
Perfect. What a relief.
"Hi, ma'am. My name's Jesse [so on and so forth about setting goals and meeting them effectively and efficiently.] Okay, no problem, ma'am. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to come by our training offices! ... think you can handle that, Angel?"
And I was on my own.
From day one, blank piece of paper on a clipboard. Go sell.
After about 5 days of this, I got a few phone numbers of clients so we can call them to set up appointments, but not anyone who actually wanted to go through with these appointments. After a while, these 2 guys I would work with would berate me and say "We could go out there and get 30 phone numbers and book 10 appointments in an hour!"
The difference between these guys and me was, well, first and foremost there's confidence. But I also have morals, and self awareness for these people. I work out (not at LA Fitness) and it's my time. It's my time to go to the gym, work on myself, and try to achieve my own personal goals. I don't go there to talk to people. I hate it when people try to talk to me at the gym. It's distracting, unnecessary, and not the place for any sort of small talk.
If I were working out and someone not only tried to talk to me, but then tried to sell me something, and continued to push after I had said no, I would seriously consider going to another gym.
Now, the gym I work out at, which I really enjoy, has personal trainers. I see them around with clients all the time. But no one is walking around with a clipboard trying to push it on every member.
After my initial pushes on people weren't working, they had me try another approach. They told me to write on a big piece of paper, 'DO YOU WANT PERSONAL TRAINING' and walk up and down all of the cardio equipment and show people the sign as I walk by and see if anyone would bite.
Never worked for me.
So, as big of a failure I was at bothering people and bullying them into buying something they didn't want, they showed me what would happen after I got a client to book an appointment. We went through the rundown of what we tell these people, which has a lot to do with confusing them, drawing little charts, and asking them about their goals.
Say Patty came in and said, "I want to lose 60 lbs!" and Joseph came in and said "I'm trying to lean out and put on about 15 lbs of muscle," or Robert said, "I'm trying to cut and need to lose about 10 lbs of fat."
Our job was to tell each of these clients that it would take them roughly 50-60 weeks of personal training to attain these goals. Yes, whether you want to lose 10 lbs or 100 lbs, we could get you results in a fucking year.
Of course I believe in personal training. I think it could benefit absolutely everyone, even personal trainers themselves. Having someone push you, bestow knowledge on you, intrigue you with new ideas, it is always beneficial. I also believe in most circumstances, for most people, about 3 months of personal training could be enough. That's if you're motivated to reach your goals and need someone to teach you proper form, certain exercise plans, and what it takes to make each of these goals happen so you don't give up and don't plateau before you reach them.
A year of personal training, while not crazy, excessive, or a bad thing, is a bit much for the average person. Personal training is expensive, and usually an expense people don't want to commit an entire year to. But if they can, that's great, and it can only help you in the long run.
Another piece of information given to these people is that if they gain 10 lbs of lean muscle, somehow magically you are guaranteed to be burning a pound of fat every week completely at rest, doing nothing.
This is the blanket statement they give to people. Not considering that people also are taking in calories, are not always at rest, and that 10lbs of lean muscle does a pound of fat a week make. It just doesn't add up. But you talk fast, confuse people, and they might not ask super specific sciencey questions.
Now I questioned my knowledge when I was told this, which was a bit scary, but then my superior who was telling me all this (by the way I should mention he's gone from my position, to personal trainer, to Fitness Director in about 3 months. Turnover much?) also sidebarred me with, "Now we both know this isn't true, but it's just what we tell people."
That was the moment I wanted to walk out. But I didn't. I came in one more day, and they gave me my blank piece of paper and clipboard, told me to make sales, and by the middle of the day I had only managed to acquire a couple phone numbers, they did what they had been doing to me for almost each day I was there; they told me to leave early read the packet of lies yet again, and come back tomorrow. This was after another session of "WHY ARE YOUR SALES NOT HIGHER?!?!?" and talking down to me and making me feel like an utter disappointment.
So my sales suck, they make me leave early every day, and not once did I ever have a single bit of training besides a sales packet that only told me what to lie to people about once we got them sitting in the chair.
Now, these guys obviously weren't geniuses and one of them has only been there 3 months, so... I don't know. Shitty company, not sure if I'm even getting paid for the week and a half I was there... but when I was told to come in on a Saturday bright and shiny at 8am to annoy more people with my clipboard and paper, it was finally time to say fuck it, and never show my face there again. And judging by the phone call I did not receive the next day, I'm guessing this sort of thing happens quite a lot there.
I worked at the highlighted location. The purple one. The Lakeview location. The one with 1.5 stars.
So I am now unemployed around the holidays, which means Yay, no stressing about working too much around the Holidays! But it also means I have no income which, you know, scary.
But I've been making a few calls, sending a few resumes, and enjoying my time off in the snow, taking pictures and enjoying this extraordinary very merry Christmas.
Rode the Santa Express downtown yesterday to the Christkindlmarkt, a Bavarian holiday market downtown. It was pretty cute. Enjoyed some Glühwein and even got to keep the mug! It was adorable.
So if you're wondering what to get the guy who has ... well, no job, you can always take a peek at my Wishlist on Amazon for inspiration!
Well...on the bright side...at least now you know you couldn't ever be a used car salesman. Hope you find something more suitable soon (there's always Starbucks, right? haha).
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