Here and Back Again

Hello again!

Wow, it's really been a while since I've posted here.  I mean I at least though I wrote a bit about my progress in October when I was doing #soberoctober, but I guess that's not the case.  Pity!

In case you wanted to know, it went very well!  It was tough and since I work in Boystown which is Chicago's own devil's playground of temptation and ease of access; the availability of the booze and the chance to falter were endless.  I'm proud to say I persevered and I celebrated with my first drink in the evening of October 31... because, duh, Halloween.

After that stint, I became a regular ole' alcoholic once again.  Drinking too much and spending too much money.  My goals were still in my head but the stresses of work and life set me off in a chain reaction of drink after drink a few nights a week to the point where I was missing gym days because I was too hungover, and wasn't eating right because my body wasn't feeling it, or I didn't have the will to go to the grocery store, or because when my body feels like it's dying, a Tostino's personal pizza sounds so much better than chicken, kale, or greek yogurt.

I've thought about going back on this 1 month without drinking here and there.  I even would say to myself, "let's just go a week and that will be good for you."  It never worked.  I gave myself no liability.  No one knew if I cheated except for myself, and so what?  If I felt guilty, that would be drowned out by alcohol.  Well, except those certain special mornings you wake up still drunk and realize, how much did I spend??

Recently a friend confided in me about some issues he was having in his life and had had in the past as a result of poor decisions he was making about substance abuse.  While the severity of it didn't resonate with my personal issues, I could still somewhat relate.  He had entered himself into an outpatient rehab program which really impressed me, and since he and I spend so much time together and I really wanted to be a supportive friend and mostly because I know my choices have hindered the progress of my goals, I decided I would spend the month of April -- at the bare minimum -- without imbibing in alcohol.  I'm not fully convinced of this next part, but perhaps with his success in the program going forward, even when the month is over I can have him as my support in making better choices not to be such a wild child anymore.  A wild child who is almost 30.

The first step in this process, as I did back in November, is to make sure I tell people.  Then I have liability which at least to me is very, very important.  I don't want to be judged and I don't want to let anyone down.  So at around 1pm on March 31, I announced on Facebook that I would be doing #alcoholfreeapril and invited whoever else wanted to join with me to speak up and we can all support each other and even hang out when everyone else is out getting sloshed... I only wish I knew of a cool juice bar or smoothie place, because Jamba Juice would also definitely be going against my goals for healthy living.

Several people actually spoke up!  And by several I mean about 7 or 8, but that's a handful more than who vowed to do it with me back in October, and let me tell you... the people who gave interest in it back in October left me highly disappointed.  Most of them were obviously very aloof about the whole thing... saying they would do it to feel better about themselves but obviously having no serious, deeply rooted interest in it.  Most were coworkers at the bar I am at, and one or two days into it they'd be sitting at the bar with a drink in front of them, and jokingly look at my judgmental glances and retort with some banter of, "I'm so weak!" followed by an uncaring laugh.  It's not a joke to me as it is to them so I didn't laugh with them as they expected no doubt, as they see their drinking as this social excuse to be silly.  This month is not about being silly and social at the helm of Captain Alcohol.  It's about sticking with your goals and doing what you can to get there... though silliness and being social are in no way out of the picture.  I just need to do them with a little less help from this toxic substance.

With that, I want to announce that this month I am also going to be more on top of this blog.  There's the liability statement I need to make to be sure I don't let anyone down and I stick to it, and here's to an exciting month of avoiding alcohol, more writing, getting that summer body ready, saving money, and supporting friends!

Cheers!

Trifecta

As of today, October 8, 2014, I am just a day over a week into the life quality shaking-up cleanse known as the detox.  Although a decision made entirely on my own as there are few to no excuses to break this detox (holidays, for example) when I found out there are others I know, mostly co-workers, who are also partaking in this cleanse, I realized there is a trend going on around this known by the hashtag #soberOctober.  Who knew?

It's been great.  At the very beginning, there was a bit of weakness.  I moved recently and unpacked a bottle of wine and moving in itself to me seemed like a great call for a celebration. Now, I'll admit if it weren't for the others I knew who were also doing #soberOctober, I may have cheated a little.  Having a support system ... rather I don't really have that since I'm not calling anyone in  times of weakness ... but when you take that step to announce to a large audience that you are partaking in a month of no drinking, it sets up a person accountability, and if you fail, you either have to admit defeat, or if the subject is brought up, let people know you weren't strong. You were weak, you failed, you cheated, or any other negative association with not accomplishing a goal.

Even in the beginning, although I knew I wanted to do this month of sobriety, I wasn't necessarily ready to announce it to my friends through Facebook. The reasoning being that I'd know I was being accountable for my actions should I not have succeeded, and then either admitting defeat or lying about cheating would burn through me.  And let's face it, saying you can stay sober and then not staying sober really has a terrible stigma in our society.

I don't necessarily have the healthiest relationship with alcohol.  I've had rough times and negative things have come out of it.  Almost ruining relationships, losing a lot of money, and an overall feeling of not being the healthiest I could be when health and fitness are top priorities in my life with the exception of being able to drink.  It helps me escape my introversion a little bit.  Let's me be wild and carefree.  But the teeter totter of "am I an alcoholic?" is probably a bit heavy and best left for another time.

This post is to be focused on the announcement of my personal #soberOctober and, hopefully, the month of blogging to go alongside of it.

The best introduction to dealing with this month is how the beginning of it has played out, which before a month of sobriety was even an idea.  What began sometime over the past month or so is something I have, in the past, called the Trifecta.  My own personal trifecta of three major life attributes that create a sort of quality of life... I'm describing that terribly and know there is a better way to put it, but it's early and I'm knocking this blog out so I can get my checklist of errands to run today taken care of.

The Trifecta, and how staying sober for the past week has effected it, starts out with what I like to call
Phase #1

A New Home:
This has been the most refreshing part of my trifecta.  I'm so happy I can say that now, because before the beginning of the month it was the cause of a major amount of stress in my life.  Having to move was a result of my previous roommate, who I was paying to stay with him in his home, and how he had decided he was ready to live on his own.  So I started looking for apartments here and there, while also trying to get myself financially stable to set up for a move.

Then there was a wrench thrown into the mix.  My roommate had told me that at the beginning of October, his sister and her family would be staying in his apartment for a short visit.  Sooo I had about a month to vacate.  Still not terribly ready to move, I took to Craigslist to see what viable options I had.

I emailed dozens of people, replied to countless ads, wrote about what a fun yet organized young man I am, and attached my Facebook link to the emails.  Out of all of that, I had a reply from two people.  By the time I met the first set of people, was invited to fill out a credit check, I forgot about the 2nd email I received.  This apartment I was applying for had it all.  Location on the lake on the 20th floor of a high rise, rooming with two girls and two cats.  The rent was ridiculously cheap all things considered.
Long story short, I didn't get the apartment, they picked someone else I guess, and I found out about that the day before I had to move.  I had a mild meltdown.  I then found out my coworker had just found out one of her roommates was ditching on the lease, so I came to see the place and moved in the next day.  The location isn't as great, it's a ground floor unit, and I would have three roommates, and the rent was quite a bit higher than the other place.  So all in all, a much, much less desirable deal but it was one I had to take last minute.

How is #soberOctober playing into this mix?  I'm saving money.  And I need to, because this place is a bit out of my budget right now.  So not going out spending $40+ a few nights a week has been a good thing.

Speaking of my budget, that brings me to Phase #2 of the Trifecta.

A New Job:
I've recently taken a low paying, mindless job at a local high end gym chain where I will be working probably only until I start attending school next fall.  I will be keeping my current job where I work mostly nights, and this gym job will be during the day.  Not only is it a little bit of extra cash flow coming my way, but I believe I will qualify for benefits.  One benefit I already qualify for which I am excited about is a free membership.  My beloved Cheetah gym, after being there for a year, has nearly doubled my membership dues monthly, so it's time we part ways and I save that chunk of money monthly, and use a much, much, much nicer facility with quite a wealth of locations throughout the city, that would normally cost me the same amount as Cheetah, but it's nicer, and free.

#soberOctober could not be a better time to start a new job, especially at a gym!  I go in feeling healthy and spry and am by best me there.  I take in all the new information coming my way and have the capacity to retain more information... you know, because I'm not hungover.  It's a good thing.

***

Now, Phase #3 of the Trifecta is an interesting one, because while I'd hate to admit it's something I need, it all goes with the Trifecta and it always has since I first experienced this "phenomenon", as it were, as it came about in my life a couple times in my adulthood before I assigned a name to it.

A New Man:
The Trifecta of a a refreshed course of life involves, within a small span of time, a new apartment, a new job, and someone new in your life with whom to experience everything.

As with most people, the path in life of relationships with people is a complicated one.  This past year of my adventure is a... ... and words escape me.  Let's just say this blog has seen better days as dwelling on the more personal aspects of my life has taken precedence and this is not the place to share those experiences.  Not yet anyway.  And maybe, fingers crossed, the time won't come to write about it because that part of my life will, in retrospect, be less significant than I found it to be in this past year.

In regards to my #soberOctober quest, the relation of dating and drinking hasn't been widely explored, but there has been an instance that I thought of as an interest experiment.  It was this weekend at work when my co-worker pulled me aside and informed me of the gentleman not 20 feet away who fancied my jive and wanted in on a bit of the action.  I took the phone number that my friend at work passed along to me and I used it later that evening to text this person who I was informed was very good looking.

We ended up meeting for dinner at a local Italian restaurant.  Italian food.  Pasta.  Bread.  Wine.
I mulled over the plans after they had been made in the hours leading up to meet this gentleman caller.  Do we wine and dine?  Is it worth it?  Am I a better date with a little bit of fluid in my veins?

This was day 2 or 3 of my #soberOctober venture, and I informed him that this was something I was trying out as we set up the date.  After we met, we sat down as he asked me a little about it.  I explained it in less detail than I have here, and when our waiter greeted our table we both agreed that, "water's fine."

The date went well enough.  Well, he's from San Francisco so he really has no effect on my life.  We continued the good conversation, ate a great meal, enjoyed our hydrating glasses of water, took a leisurely stroll, and ended the night with a standard agreement to keep in touch.

So it look like I can socialize and not drink. It was definitely worth a try and I'm satisfied with the results.  I still have a little over 3 weeks of experimentation with this not drinking ordeal which means many more opportunities to try things I would normally associate with drinking while resisting having even a drop.  Go out to the bars?  Shouldn't be too bad.  A house party?  That may be more challenging.  I've already agreed that Halloween would be the day to end this run, but who knows?  In the coming weeks, maybe my body and mind, refreshed, will be telling me something else.

The Bug

As I sit here and type, there are a couple breaks being taken for my right hand's finger nails to dig at the large lump on my left forearm that appeared yesterday assumingly after something had bitten me.  So as I sit here wishing I had some Gold Bond to relieve my discomfort, I couldn't help but wonder... maybe there was a bigger itch that I needed to scratch?

Today, Delta Airlines announced non stop service from Seattle to Incheon, the airport serving the city of Seoul, South Korea.  I've been bitten by the travel bug several times in the past, and now it's been taking a big dig at me.  Seeing friends fleeing the comfort of their city to travel around our very own country or even further abroad, I'm still broadening my horizons in this metropolis that feels like a limitless small country in its own.  So I feel slightly conflicted ... while I have this traveling itch inside of me, should I bother scratching that while I still have barely scratched the surface of Chicago?

So why mention South Korea?  Growing up in Seattle, you felt like you were in the middle of nowhere a lot of the time.  No major cities north, south, east, or west... not within driving distance, anyway.  Europe wasn't just across the pond, it was that plus the rest of this continent.  Then the pond on the other side, which actually is the world's largest ocean, offered no visibility short of a 12 hours flight... minimum.

Now with this major American airline edging its face towards the West Coast, perhaps its time to arrange a trip back to Seattle... as a stop over for a great adventure.

I've travelled alone before.  To certain cities in the country, once over to the very northern European country of Iceland, and its just fine.  But something else that's been getting to me is the need for companionship, and to share these big moments in life with that certain someone special.  Is it really reasonable, however, to postpone making these large trip plans until you're certain you've found the one who will be able to share the stories of said adventures amongst your collective group of friends?

Before I plan a transpacific trip to South Korea, should I wait until I have someone to go with me, and hope I can travel there with my Seoul mate?

Time will tell.  At least wait until you're ready to make that trip, and maybe when that time comes when you're ready to head over to Incheon, than that itch will be gone.  Or maybe waiting really is a risk worth taking.  After all, it's like what they say; you dim sum, you lose some.

Full Circle

Two days from now will be a year that I've been here in Chicago.

My first post to this blog was exactly one year ago yesterday, so it would have been pretty nice to write on that momentous occasion. Alas, I've all but forgotten this blog ... well, that's not exactly true.  I'm quite aware it exists, but don't really have the same drive to document my life as I had before when there were more major changes afoot. Yet there's been a major change!  Months ago, in fact.  Yet this year I have only posted 1 other blog here, so here's to #2.

What's this big change, you ask?  Nothing that exciting.  Just a new job working in Boystown again.  No big deal, so we can change topics now.

This past weekend was an event that sort of made me realize things have come full circle here in Chicago.  This past weekend was not only Memorial Day weekend, but also IML weekend.  IML is International Mr. Leather, a 5 day leather event in downtown Chicago that I think is something like the Magnum Cum Laude of leather events around the country.  While I attended this event, I noticed a lot of titles like Mr Iowa Leather and Mr. Memphis Leather, etc.  So being given the title of International Mr. Leather sounds rather a salient title to be bestowed upon an individual who's involved in that scene.

Why I say this event means things have come full circle is because last year, the weekend before I moved to Chicago, was IML weekend.  A couple friends missed my going away party that weekend because they had gone to Chicago for the event, and by next weekend I was in Chicago.  The weekend after that I attended my first festival, Andersonville's Midsommerfest, and started attending many other festivals and events throughout the summer and the rest of the year from there on out.  I missed IML by less than a week so it's really the last event there was for me to attend, and so I spent the entire weekend there.

It wasn't planned to spend the entire weekend, but I happened to fall into a situation of convenience, where I had a couple friends in from out of town staying at the hotel that hosts the event, we hung out for the first day of the event, and we basically spent the entire weekend together.  We walked around the hotel - shopping, observing events and demonstrations, chilling in their room with cocktails and music, and we also spent some time up in my neck of the woods, which is Boystown.  We brunched, bar hopped, and drank too much while basking in the sun.

Back at the hotel, I gave my camera a bit of practice because that's also something that has been set aside a bit lately.  I've had a couple great shoots wandering around in the snow since my last posts, but really... snow gets a bit old after 5 months, believe it or not.

Pretty fun shots without any expensive equipment.  A more professional set up with lights would have been great to eliminate some shadows, but I was just sort of snapping away while sitting in a nearby chair.

That's what's been up.  I have a new job and the penultimate punctuation of my first year in Chicago was one of the world's largest leather conventions.  How about that.

Hopefully my next piece on here won't be too far from now, since my actual year anniversary is in 2 days.  Oh, and yes I did buy a harness.

Step by Step

Okay, it's been a while, I know.  And a lot has happened, really!  I've thought about updating, but I never got around to it.

So you know how I quit the bar, then I quit LA Fitness right after that?  Well it hasn't been exactly smooth sailing since, other than now I have a focus for somewhere to go in life.  Now I don't remember what I divulged the last time I wrote so I may be repeating myself.

A certain someone in my life opened the opportunity to intern for this person who has some sort of digital media company.  That's about all I know about him.  My friend, who works for the Art Institute, was going to set it up for me and had me do some mock compositions, such as fake ads as well as retouching photos I've taken.

Other than that, I didn't get much direction.  He told me what to do with the photos, I'd send them to him, and he'd tell me what I did wrong.  It would be frustrating since he seemed to have the expectations of a graphic design student, which I never have been, but he was at least helpful to point me in the right direction and teach me some new techniques.

With that, however, there was a great lack of communication.  I seemed to have deadlines, but when I would show him my work close to the deadline, he would tell me how to improve it, and then send it when I'm done.  So deadlines kept getting extended, and I had never even talked to this person he was going to set me up with.  And as these deadlines were extending, and I was still working, part of my focus went somewhere else.

Seattle was doing well in football.  We made the playoffs.  We made it to the Super Bowl.  We were picked to win by many people who know a God damned thing about the sport.  I had to be there.  I had no job.  No responsibilities.  And if I needed to finish these art projects, I could do so from 1,700 miles away as well.  So I booked my ticket to Seattle.  About a week later, I get a call saying I need to meet this person the coming weekend.  I said I couldn't because I'd be out of town.  That's when I learned that this person I was supposed to intern for was leaving back to his hometown of Las Vegas the following week when I would be gone.  That's where the lack of communication came in.  I didn't know this guy didn't live here.  I didn't know what the deadlines were, when they were, when we were supposed to meet, etc.  So that's kind of fallen to shit, except my friend told me to contact the guy via Facebook and let him know I exist and what my intentions and interests are.  So I put that out there, and that's that.

So all in all, it didn't pan out as I'd hoped.  However, it did give me sort of an idea of what the hell I want to do with myself.  Focus on my photography.  Focus on my skills and ability with photo editing and manipulation.  See if I can make something out of this.  After I qualify for in-state tuition in the state of Illinois, I can go to school.  Study up on graphic design.  Also, study business.  Start my own business somewhere down the line.  Make a plan.

Since then, I've been out taking photos a lot.  Here in the winter time is a great time to find inspiration in nature.  That's provided me with some great shots; a couple of my favorite are as follows:

Since I plan to start a business someday, I've also been wanting to work at getting my stuff out there.  So I created my own Facebook page for my photography, called Angel Vazquez Photography & Digital Media (Like it!).

That's been what I've been up to since I've been unemployed.  And now things are getting tight.  Luckily my tax return was a bit more substantial that I had anticipated so it's helped me survive the past couple months, and has helped me not regret taking that extended (almost 2 week) trip to Seattle, where we completely embarrassed the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl, by the way.

*     *     *

In other news, my phone was stolen last week.  I had a bit too much to drink, fell asleep on the train on the way home, woke up, and I had no phone.  That has added a lot of complication to my life, as it was a new phone, with a new provider, and since I hadn't had a chance to turn on a device locating service, and didn't realize with T-Mobile you have to back up your contacts (?) apparently.  So everything was gone.  All my contacts, photos, texts from the past week.  All gone.

When I got my replacement phone in the mail, it was initially a happy thing until I found out about all these complications.  But all in all I was happy to finally be connected to the world again.  Being unemployed and without a phone, I really felt I had nothing going on.  So I took a lot of photos and marathoned a lot of Netflix shows.

Alas, in the same day as I got my phone, I also was told I had been offered a position in a job that I applied for the day before.  It's at a restaurant so it's nothing all that fancy, but it'll keep my head above water so I can pay off my substantial debts I've accrued in this unemployment period and finally be able to treat once again, here and there.  Just until I can figure out, step by step, where to reach the next chapter of my life.

And of course using Grindr as a wonderful resource.

Extraordinary Very Merry Christmas

Let's get this job talk out of the way, because it's worth mentioning.  When we last met, I was excited to be starting this position at LA Fitness.  A step in the right direction, albeit getting there was a little shakey and a lot of worry for nothing.

Or so I thought.

There was finally a position in a gym for me, with my certification shiny and ready to be used, from a gym that contacted me; I didn't have to do the grunt work!  I wasn't even looking.  Shouldn't that have been a tell-tale sign all along?  Yes.  It should have.

LA Fitness is a big box gym, the biggest gym chain in the country I believe.  A facility where people pay money to go to work on themselves, each setting different goals to be where they want to be either healthfully or aesthetically.  LA Fitness provides lots of machines and weights and other such gym accessories for those looking to meet those goals.  But God.  At what cost?

It's an attractive value.  Many locations for a cheap price.  Open long hours during the day so you can go just about anytime you'd like.  There's even a personal training department to help you evaluate your goals, and with us, we can help you figure out the most efficient and effective way for you to accomplish them!

That's where I come in.  Hi, I'm Angel and I'm with the training department.  Can I interest you in a person training assessment, free of charge, to help you accomplish the goals you're striving for here today?

Oh, you're busy... right, you're working out.  And you have headphones on.  Okay, no need to be rude.  Just doing my job.

*     *     *

From day one on the job, I met the two guys I'd be working with.  Both having been personal trainers who are now Fitness Directors at the LA Fitness location at which I'd be working.  Introductions, yada yada -- here, Angel. Here's a clipboard with a blank piece of paper.  Go sell training.
"Umm, so what do I do?  I mean, can you show me how it's done first?"
"Oh, I guess you can shadow me for a bit."
Perfect.  What a relief.

"Hi, ma'am.  My name's Jesse [so on and so forth about setting goals and meeting them effectively and efficiently.]  Okay, no problem, ma'am.  If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to come by our training offices! ... think you can handle that, Angel?"
And I was on my own.

From day one, blank piece of paper on a clipboard.  Go sell.

After about 5 days of this, I got a few phone numbers of clients so we can call them to set up appointments, but not anyone who actually wanted to go through with these appointments.  After a while, these 2 guys I would work with would berate me and say "We could go out there and get 30 phone numbers and book 10 appointments in an hour!"
The difference between these guys and me was, well, first and foremost there's confidence.  But I also have morals, and self awareness for these people.  I work out (not at LA Fitness) and it's my time.  It's my time to go to the gym, work on myself, and try to achieve my own personal goals.  I don't go there to talk to people.  I hate it when people try to talk to me at the gym.  It's distracting, unnecessary, and not the place for any sort of small talk.
If I were working out and someone not only tried to talk to me, but then tried to sell me something, and continued to push after I had said no, I would seriously consider going to another gym.
Now, the gym I work out at, which I really enjoy, has personal trainers.  I see them around with clients all the time.  But no one is walking around with a clipboard trying to push it on every member.

After my initial pushes on people weren't working, they had me try another approach.  They told me to write on a big piece of paper, 'DO YOU WANT PERSONAL TRAINING' and walk up and down all of the cardio equipment and show people the sign as I walk by and see if anyone would bite.

Never worked for me.

So, as big of a failure I was at bothering people and bullying them into buying something they didn't want, they showed me what would happen after I got a client to book an appointment.  We went through the rundown of what we tell these people, which has a lot to do with confusing them, drawing little charts, and asking them about their goals.

Say Patty came in and said, "I want to lose 60 lbs!" and Joseph came in and said "I'm trying to lean out and put on about 15 lbs of muscle," or Robert said, "I'm trying to cut and need to lose about 10 lbs of fat."
Our job was to tell each of these clients that it would take them roughly 50-60 weeks of personal training to attain these goals.  Yes, whether you want to lose 10 lbs or 100 lbs, we could get you results in a fucking year.

Of course I believe in personal training.  I think it could benefit absolutely everyone, even personal trainers themselves.  Having someone push you, bestow knowledge on you, intrigue you with new ideas, it is always beneficial.  I also believe in most circumstances, for most people, about 3 months of personal training could be enough.  That's if you're motivated to reach your goals and need someone to teach you proper form, certain exercise plans, and what it takes to make each of these goals happen so you don't give up and don't plateau before you reach them.

A year of personal training, while not crazy, excessive, or a bad thing, is a bit much for the average person.  Personal training is expensive, and usually an expense people don't want to commit an entire year to.  But if they can, that's great, and it can only help you in the long run.

Another piece of information given to these people is that if they gain 10 lbs of lean muscle, somehow magically you are guaranteed to be burning a pound of fat every week completely at rest, doing nothing.

This is the blanket statement they give to people.  Not considering that people also are taking in calories, are not always at rest, and that 10lbs of lean muscle does a pound of fat a week make.  It just doesn't add up.  But you talk fast, confuse people, and they might not ask super specific sciencey questions.

Now I questioned my knowledge when I was told this, which was a bit scary, but then my superior who was telling me all this (by the way I should mention he's gone from my position, to personal trainer, to Fitness Director in about 3 months.  Turnover much?) also sidebarred me with, "Now we both know this isn't true, but it's just what we tell people."

That was the moment I wanted to walk out.  But I didn't.  I came in one more day, and they gave me my blank piece of paper and clipboard, told me to make sales, and by the middle of the day I had only managed to acquire a couple phone numbers, they did what they had been doing to me for almost each day I was there; they told me to leave early read the packet of lies yet again, and come back tomorrow.  This was after another session of "WHY ARE YOUR SALES NOT HIGHER?!?!?" and talking down to me and making me feel like an utter disappointment.
So my sales suck, they make me leave early every day, and not once did I ever have a single bit of training besides a sales packet that only told me what to lie to people about once we got them sitting in the chair.
Now, these guys obviously weren't geniuses and one of them has only been there 3 months, so... I don't know.  Shitty company, not sure if I'm even getting paid for the week and a half I was there... but when I was told to come in on a Saturday bright and shiny at 8am to annoy more people with my clipboard and paper, it was finally time to say fuck it, and never show my face there again.  And judging by the phone call I did not receive the next day, I'm guessing this sort of thing happens quite a lot there.

I worked at the highlighted location.  The purple one.  The Lakeview location.  The one with 1.5 stars.

So I am now unemployed around the holidays, which means Yay, no stressing about working too much around the Holidays!  But it also means I have no income which, you know, scary.

But I've been making a few calls, sending a few resumes, and enjoying my time off in the snow, taking pictures and enjoying this extraordinary very merry Christmas.

Rode the Santa Express downtown yesterday to the Christkindlmarkt, a Bavarian holiday market downtown.  It was pretty cute.  Enjoyed some Glühwein and even got to keep the mug!  It was adorable.

So if you're wondering what to get the guy who has ... well, no job, you can always take a peek at my Wishlist on Amazon for inspiration!

http://amzn.com/w/3M0CMUKYC7OYO

Happy Holidays everyone!

Passion Play

There have been many a great changes occurring.  I wanted to do a video about it but I never got around to it.  Oh well.  Maybe next time.  I'll actually be having a lot of time to be doing these updates from here on out.  Now only if I had something to write about.

And now I do!

I'm writing this as I sit in a cushy brown chair in a Starbucks here in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago with the Apple logo glowing behind the screen into which I'm staring, just like all of the great writers of the world.  This Starbucks is located half a block from a complex which houses an LA Fitness gym on its top floor.  I work at this gym now.

Say what?!

Yes, I am working in a gym now.  It's not in the position for which I am qualified, no.  So here's what happened.  I get a random phone call a month or so ago asking me if I am interested in becoming a personal trainer at LA Fitness.  I say sure, let's give it a shot.  I go in for an interview that day.  I meet with a couple guys and discuss my qualifications, and I am very honest.

I say to them, look.  I have this certification, sure.  However, I would not feel very comfortable working with people in a person training capacity just yet, as I think my W.I.T.S certification course was kind of a load of haberdashery. I explained the course instructor was never prepared, seemed to not know what she was doing, and didn't really have us do a lot of hands on training.

They appreciated this honestly and told me I ought to start out in a different position.   This position is called a personal training counselor.  They explained the role to me, how I could work to be comfortable at personal training, and I accepted, even though I was a bit confused as to what this position actually entailed.

Later that evening, I received a phone call being offered the position, and I accepted.  And that's when things started to get a wee bit confusing.  I figured this would be a full time position, and so I could work with it to do this gym position as well as keeping some hours at the current gig, bartending at the Twisted Vine, the lovely wine and whiskey bar that took me under their wing when I was but a baby to the exciting whirlwind of Chicago city life.  So to get all of that situated, I came in for my first day of work to LA Fitness in early November.

We discussed my availability, which at the time was a November schedule at the bar that was written in late October, for the entire month of November.  At a bar with 3 employees.  No time off, no switching shifts, no quitting without notice (I didn't want to be a dick), and thusly, no gym job until my schedule cleared up.  He presented to me what the hours would look like.  6 days a week, with 3 of those days being there for about 11 hours, with a 4 hour break in the middle.  Meaning no time for two jobs.

So I put it off.  I was told when my schedule cleared, I would have a position at LA Fitness waiting for me.  I was told that sometime around November 13, and with a birthday weekend coming up, my birthday being November 16, I decided to put off dealing with that work junk, and made the commitment to report my final days at the bar to my boss when I came into work that following Tuesday.  Before that, I called LA Fitness to make sure he would keep his word that I had a position there should I decide to quit my current bartending gig.  It was confirmed.  So Tuesday came (my birthday weekend was great by the way), and it was consistently busy.  Never a dull moment.  Never a moment to breathe.  Never a moment to discuss the end of days with my boss.

Then came Wednesday.  It was a day that started with lots of busy work involving some side project my boss had been working on regarding Christmas ornaments and lots and lots packaging popcorn -- the fluffy stuff in packages.  My co worker would come in 2 hours after I had arrived, and committed that I would disclose the notice before she came in.  And so I did.  It went something like, "Hey, gotta tell ya somethin!" And then the blabbering of news came out, and the reaction received was an unexpected one.  Few words, mostly silence.  In fact, it was nearly 2 weeks of silence thereafter, an appropriately wintery chill, up until I finished my term at the bar, my last couple days there completely void of my boss, my friend who I had made since my walking into the once warming establishment.

It was strange to me, yet not surprising that he decided to be absent that day due to many different factors I won't bore you with here.  But so how he decided to end it, and thus it was.

I called LA Fitness about the position, and there were a few concerning hiccups.  The guy I was in contact with wasn't there for a few days.  When I came back, he told me to come in the next morning.  Then he called me back saying instead coming in for an interview with a guy named Al.

Heart racing.  Blood pressure rising.  What did he mean an interview?  I had already done the hiring paperwork.  I filled out those forms.  I was given his word on the position.  I was offered a full time position and I had quit my job to make this transfer, from the less than stellar world of bartending, late nights, no social life, and lots of bitch work, to a field in which I could thrive and put my actual passions into play.

I went in for this so-called "interview" with Al.  One of the first things he asked me was a question about whether I'm looking for full time or part time work.  I began with, "So I'm a little confused..."  I think he was too, be he recovered by telling me to chill out and that he just needs to meet everyone before their officially on board.  I think there were some mistakes made in this little process that scared and stressed the ever-living bejeezus out of me, but all was well in the world.

So that's where I am now.  And I know now more about the position.  Essentially I am selling personal training, in itself involves a bit of personal training from me to the potential clients.  So it's a step in the right direction.  But it's still sales.  That's never been in my best graces, but I will try my best until I make the position what I want for it to be.

And now I have that schedule, the unusual one where I have 4 hour lunch breaks.  I'm on one of those lunch breaks.  I had my food, and came into Starbucks, and I brought my computer with me.  So I can sit here at this Starbucks, like all the great writers of the world, and deliver you a much delayed continuation of my adventures since moving from Seattle.

Gym and Journeys

I've been gaining a bit of weight.  But no, in the good way.


A few weeks ago I was somewhere in the  11% range of body fat, but now that I've adjusted my little body fat reader to my current weight gain (to like 156 lbs or something) it tells me I'm at a comfortable 9%.

This top hangs on me, 

but one day, it will be tight...

Some notes on how I see my progress... well, I think my shoulders are coming in nicely and love the way they look in a tank top.  However, my pecs are growing unevenly.  I've heard to use dumbbells for presses when that happens, so that's what I've been doing.  No barbell bench presses for me.  Hopefully that works out the issue, because having a left pec that's noticeably larger (to me anyway) ain't cute.

Yesterday was a chest/tri day at the gym, so today it'll be back to bis/lats.  I might go easy on those and also work shoulders more since I haven't done that in a good few days now.  I can't imagine anyone who reads this finds this at all interesting.  How can I spice up my fitness blog?  Tips and tricks?  I dunno.  I kind of have a routine so there's nothing really out of the ordinary.  But if a sex scandal comes up from the gym, I'll let you know.  Or maybe I'll start taking steroids and write very angry blogs about all the ugly people in my life.  That would be something different.  

Let's bring this blog full circle for the moment and talk a little more about Chicago life.

I went on an architecture tour a couple weeks ago.  Apparently it was the wrong tour... I mean, it was interesting, but it wasn't THE Architecture Tour.  Guess there's an architecture society or something?  No one told me about this, so I went with one that I found on Groupon.  It wasn't bad, but didn't blow my skirt up like I expected, as everyone always creams themselves when talking about the architecture tour... but to be honest, Chicago seems to be a city that overhypes absolutely everything (Market Days, anyone?) which makes me feel a little better about the horror stories people have about winter.

I pieced together a little panoramic photo from some shots I got out in the lake.  Chicago is pretty and has some impressive architecture, for sure.

Ideas From The Cloud

Feels like I should be more inspired to write, but it can often be tricky to come up with subject matter to write about.  I had taken some notes a week or so ago regarding my living situation, my roommate, and the overall hipster-chic feel of it all.  Then I realized that might be kind of boring.  But then I thought to myself, is posting nothing at all really a better solution?   Not really.

I use writing as a creative outlet.  I don't seem to have to many of those these days as I used to.  I loved to draw and doodle as a kid.  I did a lot of blogging (complaining about how stupid my parents were) as a pre-teen.  I did a lot of acting and musical theatre in high school.  After that, video blogging was something I enjoyed doing rather frequently.  Then I got into painting.  Last summer I bought a camera and have been enjoying learning the fine art of photography, taking inspiration from artistic photo websites and seeing if I can get an idea on how to replicate those shots.  Yet, I don't go out with my camera too much anymore.

Lately at works in times of ultimate lack of anything to do (which is rare -- Facebook is always at my fingertips) I have been known to spot a pad of paper and taken to sketching something silly on it.  I've always had a thing for drawing an eye, and then designing a creature, usually cat-like, around it.  But nothing really interesting.  So I feel like I have this intense need for a creative outlet in random parts of my life but I haven't felt like I've been all that great at what I've created.  In my defense, art is subjective.

I took a creative writing class in college and we had an assignment to submit a poem for the entire class to read aloud and critique it.  Poetry has never been my thing, so I used a poem that I was inspired to write when I was 18, during a summer I had spent in Alaska and I was stuck on a boat for 12 hours a day.  It was rhymey, about a relationship that faltered, all that expected, trite sort of bull.

It was submitted to the class and read aloud anonymously.  Everyone hated it.  No, like everyone.  Not a nice thing was said about it.  Well, until our instructor asked if the author wanted to come forth and defend his work, which I did, and a nice girl in the class declared, "Well I liked the rhyming," probably seeing my humiliation forming in my eyes and about to stream down my face.

It inspired me to write another poem.  It was a poem about how I personally believe art isn't 'good' or 'bad'.  It's a way for a certain person to express themselves and if not another single person on earth can read the emotion that went into that piece, so what?  If it meant something to the "artist", then at least one person got something out of it.  And it also defended my personal interest in having poems rhyme.

Then there was another, probably also seen as terrible, poem I wrote about how there are a lot of things out there that I find I am okay at, but nothing comes to mind of anything that I really, really excel at.  So that's sort of a downer, and do I still believe that?  Who knows.  I don't try to think about it.  I live my day to day life, which a lot of people may find uninspired and going from day to day just living and not trying to achieve anything.  Again, maybe true.  I always have an idea of what I'd like my life to be like, and somehow either there isn't an intense motivation to get to that point, or my excuse that it's hard to balance a job and school without any other outside help is actually a valid one.

It's a topic I hate to think about and don't discuss with many people, but I see those who are successful out there and they are typically the ones who come from supportive families.  Then on the flip side, I think ... but everyone I know seems to be more successful than I am.  And then I think, yet again, most people who don't come from supportive families and are sort of down and out on their luck seem to never leave the small town they come from.

This has really just been a post of my progressive thoughts as I wrote this.  Ramblings, really.  This post started out with an idea, one I visualize as sort of a foggy, less compact cloud of ideas, and the more I wrote, the firmer the message became in my head and I was able to focus on a few of those certain aspects.  It is at this point in the post that I will give it a title -- not that I had an idea at the beginning and titled it appropriately.  Let's make that much clear.

To be perfectly honest, there are a lot of things I wish I could write about, but I couldn't bring myself to stand up and declare those stories of my life at the risk of certain people finding them, reading them, and knowing exactly how I am feeling about certain situations.  That's what I have friends for I guess, but still... I don't know.  They don't get the full, reign-free let-my-ideas-flow whole of it.

Suppose I could write those elsewhere... and publish those perhaps I figure out if I'm still in need to hide my thoughts from those people, whether if it's from realizing I can have complete honesty with them, or if they will no longer be in my life in a way that I have to fear their judgement.

Best Defense

Today I made a purchase that was probably a smart move, but a purchase made that I didn't want to have to make, because it addresses in the front of my head that at certain times throughout my week, I may be in danger.

You know when you're not necessarily rolling in the dough, and you avoid looking at your bank account because if you can't see it, it's not real?  It's kind of like that.

Today I purchased some mace off of Amazon.

No, not that kind of mace.  As in pepper spray.  "Police grade" they call it.

Last night I was leaving work at midnight, and I was entering the Redline station at Addison.  I heard yelling and shouting inside as I entered, and this girl outside with a stroller said to me, "You might not want to go in there," but she seemed a little out of sorts/crazy so I went in anyway.  I couldn't see anything happening, but heard a lot of different people who forgot to use their inside voices.

I enter the train station, and behind the turnstiles is a large group of thuggish men, fighting, and with blood all over their clothes.  I checked my surroundings and there were $5 Footlongs from Subway thrown all over the ground, and also on the ground there were several puddles of blood, and spatterings around as well.

People seem to have trouble understanding what's going on in that photo, so know that it's all the ground, and the can there is a decal on the floor advertising Coors Light.  And that's some blood next to it.  Quite a bit of blood (scale is hard to make out in this photo -- sorry)

The neighborhood where I live seems relatively safe... but anything can happen anywhere.  I see troubling looking people all over Chicago -- the city that has surpassed New York City as the most violent in the nation.  That's a title not worth scoffing at.

The neighborhood in which I work has become, from what I've been told, more and more dangerous in the past year or so.  A bunch of undesirables have made their way from the south side and like to party it up in Boystown and cause all sorts of trouble with people walking along the street.  No fun.

So now I will be carrying mace with me, in my pocket, in my hand, as I walk from work to the train station late at night.  It worries me though.  I've never used anything like that.  If I'm confronted with someone with a weapon, will I actually take the risk to pull out the mace, aim it at their face, and press the button?  Too many thoughts would occur.  What if I miss?  What if they reach out to stab me while being temporarily blinded?  What if I'm not fast enough?  

What if I'm outnumbered?  It's a bit of peace of mind, I guess, since my only protection before this was holding my keys in my hand, and knowing I'm a ridiculously fast runner... but who's for sure that they're not faster?

It's something.  Probably a smart idea.  At least if I am confronted by someone, I have an option to defend myself and that's always a good thing.  Now, if I'm blindsided and punched in the face at random, that's something else.  I just want to avoid the blood in my veins spilling out into the open air and onto the surfaces surrounding me.  That would be totally uncool.

Progress Report

I'm sitting on the purple line right now, updating from my brand new iPhone 5s which I acquired yesterday. It's a beautiful piece of machinery about 7,500 times faster than my previous iPhone 4.  Now I'm looking forward to reading this post in about a year, when I'll be cursing how crappy and slow my iPhone is. Such is the life of technology!

So the purple line. My first time on it. Heading to Northwestern University to workout with a friend at their gym.  

Progress has been good. Been studying a lot on many different aspects of fitness and browsing the forums over at a reputable bodybuilding website. 

That's as of today.  Why is the chest so hard to build?  I want it big and I want it now!  

So that's going well. Everything else in the world is pretty much standard. I mean I could tell you the debacle it was on trying to obtain my new iPhone but it's really not that interesting. Mostly frustrating and I'm done venting about it because no one cares and the issue has been resolved. Anywho...

That's what's going on in my neck of the woods. What's going on in yours?

Worst Blogger Evaarrr!

I should really work on keeping up on this.  I wouldn't mind keeping it as a fitness log, which some might find interesting, some might not.  Who knows.  Who cares?  I don't need to categorize this thing... I'll write when I feel like writing.

On Saturday, a couple friend of mine and I took an epic road trip up to Saugatuck, MI.

It was pretty fun.  When we arrived, we realized that this place, which he had heard was a gay resort town, was chock-fulla heteros and families.  No bueno.  The gay resort there was booked solid, however, for some hardcore fetish party.  Interesting.  They were all confined to their resort and didn't venture out into town.  So all the gays in town were not only fetishists, but confined to a highly secured gay resort.  Lame.

We walked around town a bit, had a lunch in a crowded straight restaurant, and were all in a pretty defeatist mood.  We were about to head back to the city, do some wine tasting along the way, but decided to grab a Geocache (look it up) before heading out.  The closest one brought us back to the gay resort.  While there, we decided why not go ahead and grab a drink.

We spoke (flirted) with the bartender, he told us about the event, and said the bar, at least, would be open and pretty fun later in the evening.  He talked us into booking a room across the street -- where they have a pool -- and so we did.

We went swimming, later went out to dinner, got some alcohol, had a couple drinks, went to the bar, drank there, and met a lot of awesome people.  It led to a skinny dipping party in our outdoor hotel pool.  Awesome.

Whatever else happened stays in Saugatuck.

The next day we went to this awesome diner full of middle America people.  Out of shape, unattractive people who don't take care of themselves and go about every day life waiting for the days to pass until they are sent to the golden gates to meet their maker.  It was interesting to say the least.  Like somewhere they would go on an early episode of Roseanne or something.

We also went apple picking!

It was pretty adorable and now I have way too many apples and it didn't even cost me $5.

We did end up grabbing a geocache before leaving Michigan (because I want to find one in every state if possible!), which was in a beautiful area that kind of closed the book on summer in a way.  It seemed like things are about to slow down around these parts.

What's Going On

This update comes from my iPhone, so don't expect the usual great strides of poetic bloggery. 

Now, this is what has been going on. Still working out as much as possible (within reason) and I think I've been making pretty great strides.  Here's a photo I took last week. 

Legs are still a bit scrawny but the upper bod is coming along. 

Last weekend I was in DC. A friend I made at the bar works in travel and invited me along on a trip to DC. I had never been, so it was a pretty awesome experience.

I bought a Michelle Obama magnet as a souvenir. I kinda love it. 

That's about the short of it. Enjoying Chicago and all it has to offer. Friendships are developing nicely which is exciting. I might have more to say later. Next weekend I have plans to go to a gay resort town in Michigan, and then a gay theme park night at Six Flags the following weekend. It's gonna be a gay ole' time. 

Today

I'm feeling pretty fabulous lately, in case anyone is wondering.

Flapping 'Em In The Breeze For The World To See

Still a little hard up concerning friends.  I've met lots of people, but they seem to only want to date, and if I don't want to date them, then it's nothing.  Every single guy is looking for either sex or a boyfriend, and I just want a good friend or two.

So I move on to the guys who are in relationships.  Then the question arises, "So are you into threeways?"

PUT YOUR DICKS AWAY GENTLEMEN.

Off Of Feelings

Just woke up from last night's craziness so I'm going to go ahead and just start spouting off emotions.

Yesterday was a pretty frantic day.  It's Market Days in Chicago which is this big gay street fair, and I work on the street on which it takes place.  It's hectic, lots going on, etc. etc, but my overall feelings on the event is that it was supremely overhyped to me.   The best way people could describe Market Days to me was, 'omg, it's so craaazy.'  They talked to me like this guy from this tiny fishing village they call 'Seattle' could not possibly comprehend the epicness that is Market Days.

Lots of guys at the club which is cool, lots of guys in the street, lots of this and that going on, but I was expecting some Folsom Street Fair shit or something and it was nowhere near that crazy.  Just a large gather of gays.

Last night I got off work at around 1:15am.  Afterwards, I was going to meet a friend at a late night bar, and as I was leaving work this cute girl tried coming into the bar and I told her we were closed and that I was leaving.  We got to talking and she ended up joining me and my other friend was too drunk to be able to come out anyway.  But this girl was super drunk too.

We ended up bar hopping and spending way too much money.  I ran into this guy who I met once and we were supposed to hook up but it never happened.  He was with his new guy and some other friends.  We tried getting into a different late night bar, apparently we were with a 20 year old so she couldn't get in, my new drunk friend decided to go home, and everyone else sort of split off.  So I went away towards the street parade area to another gay bar by myself.

On my walk, this group of african american men outside of Dunkin Donuts grab me on my walk, threw his fist into my face after uttering something like, "Hell naw," and pushed me away.

Now I'm a fast walker in general, so I kept moving and wondering what the fuck just happened, but still in hindsight, on this extremely busy night, I'm annoyed no one came to my aid to ask me if I was okay.  I got to my destination and walked back and forth wondering if I should go into the club or not.

I did, checked my face in the mirror in the dark club lighting and there was no bruising.  Went to the main area and talked to a random person about it and he said my face looked very swollen.  Upon feeling it, I felt a few large lumps in my jaw.  However, no broken teeth or anything like that which I was thankful for.  He happened to hit right in the area where I happened to have had a tooth extracted back in 2008ish and I honestly feel like if that was still there, he would have cracked it.  It hurt a lot.

Over the next half hour a lot went through my head.  Mostly it was the overwhelming sense of loneliness which I have experienced since I moved here that I haven't really admitted to anyone.  But I feel extremely lonely about 60% of the time I'm here.  I'm terrible at making friends, am extremely introverted, have gone out many times by myself and have managed not to meet anyone.  When I meet some cool people, they all seem to want it to lead to sex and if it doesn't, they stop talking to me.

So this whole debacle has mostly shaken up the lonely feeling up by a couple hundred percent.  I had no one to talk to about it besides strangers at the club when I was drunk, then after I got home, only able to vent about it on Facebook.

Overall I'm okay.  My jaw really hurts, can't open my mouth all the way, the left side of my face is swollen, but I think my spirit is the biggest thing to take a beating from all of this.  I feel so deflated and really wish I didn't have to deal with going to work today, but I do because it's a really big event.  So, guess I have to suck it up and roll with the punches.

Into the Groove

Hey blog-reading people,
Probably not many of you since my last post got 3 hits... but it was one of the only ones I didn't directly post on my Facebook, so... there's that.

I sure could use a deep, painful, unforgiving, soul-scarring massage right now.  You see, I used to work out.  A lot, actually.  For a little under a year, I had the gym bug, which I am trying to get back again.  But it was all in convenience.  This was back when I was in Bremerton temporarily but still working in Seattle.

The Bremerton ferry would drop me off in Seattle and I would exit the ferry terminal where you see the big red dot.  Now, there were two ferries I could take.  One that would get me into Seattle at around 7:50am, when I worked at 7:45.  My work is the big green dot.  Now, this was a corporate cruise line I worked for and being even 1 minute late added up to repercussion.   So that wasn't an option at all.  I had to take a ferry that got me into Seattle an hour and a half before work.

Now, during lunch one day I decided to go tanning.  The only tanning option in this 'financial district' of Seattle was at this gym located on 2nd and Cherry (big blue dot), just downhill from my work.  I went in, went tanning, and I saw signs saying they were celebrating their 2 year anniversary at that location and were offering memberships with no enrollment fee for $14 (!!) a month.  So I decided, yes, of course I am going to do that.  I even got a personal trainer twice a week for a couple months to sort of show me the ropes.  It wasn't cheap, but I was saving some major money, both a.) with the $14 gym membership, and b.) living in Bremerton.

Now the reason I included a map in this story is because, if you look at the location of everything, it works out absolutely perfectly.  I had to get to Seattle a hour and a half early before work so I wouldn't be late, and what else am I going to do?  Well, on the way to work, why not waltz my ass 2 blocks uphill to my gym, work out, shower, change for work, and then walk the remainder of the way up those steep-ass Seattle hills.

So I was working out 5 to 6 days a week.  Sometimes even on weekends I would stay overnight in Seattle and before heading back to Bremerton, I'd hit the gym.  It was great.  I went from a scrawny guy who fluctuated between 125 to 135lbs at 12-14% body fat to a solid 155lbs with 7% body fat.  It was awesome.

Then I moved back to Seattle.  To Capitol Hill.  And I switched jobs.  I was working on Capitol Hill.  If you're on Capitol Hill, at the way at the top of the city, you don't wander downhill for any reason.  Everything you need is there.  So I stopped going to the gym.  But they wouldn't let me cancel over the phone, I sort of forgot about it, switched banks at some point, accrued debt there since they couldn't charge me and I'm pretty sure I still have a lien on my record somewhere for that.

So I joined 24 hours fitness... which is just down Denny from where I lived.  Down, as in downhill.  I went here and there.  Got a workout buddy who I went with occasionally (Hi, Billy!) and tried to maintain and build, but I just wasn't going enough.  Eventually, I lost my job, had to quit completely, and that was the last time I was part of a gym.  That was probably mid 2011.

I worked out here and there and went on runs quite a bit.  I would work out in Seattle's police gyms, and I technically wasn't allowed to be there so I didn't go as often as I'd like, but tried to squeeze in a lot of night workouts in preparation for trips to Europe or a Caribbean cruise... which was gay.  So that's a lot of pressure.

So the reason why I need this life-changing, I-wanna-smack-a-bitch massage?  Because I rejoined a gym 2 days ago, did a tri/chest routine my first day and did legs/lower back the 2nd and my entire body is saying "FUCK YOU."  When I had my personal trainer, he worked my legs like a mother effer.  And after him, I would work on them quite a bit until one day I was doing box jumps, and I didn't quite hit the box and I scraped the shit out of my shin, blood everywhere, still have a scar, it scarred me for life.  So leg workouts have not been a focal point in my exercise routine in well over 2 years.

Now I can't walk, sit, stand, lie down, anything.  It all hurts.  Going downstairs is tricky.  But it's all worth it and even with the pain, I enjoy this feeling.  Pain means progress, just like day 3 of using Crest Whitestrips when your gums are peeling and you have that acid burning sensation engulfing your mouth in flames... but you have progressively whiter teeth.

ahem...

So that's me.  Today.  Yeah.  I am never one for posting such a graphic photo for all to see on the internet, but hey.  I want to keep track of my progress and I am holding myself accountable not to let myself be seen as not trying hard enough, so now that you see that, I'll have to follow up with progress, or else I'm a loser with no friends.

Anyway, I just posted a shirtless pic of myself on the internet so I am going to step away from the keyboard right now.  The reason I'm in a swimsuit is because I'm going to the beach so I can get nice and dark and look like this:

Hi, mom!

I'm out.

Blog Short

Yes, it's been a while.

I could apologize, but that would seem pretty presumptuous of me.

In all honesty, not a whole lot has been going on.  I've been working 5 to 6 days a week, and while I suppose I do meet a lot of interesting people I could be writing about, it typically slips my mind.  I've toyed with the idea of bringing my computer to work and to write about that, but that hasn't happened yet.  We will see.

Something big that is happening is I am moving.  Over the next couple of days, I will be picking up my life here in the Siberia of Chicago (west Rogers Park) and moving a block away from the Berwyn red-line stop.  In case you're not from here, that's essentially turning a commute of a 45 minute bus ride plus a 20 minute walk to get home at night to an 8 minute train ride (if even) and a 30 second walk to get home.  That's pretty dope.

So that's what's been going on in my world.  And a lot of work.  And perhaps a bit too much partying.  But I think for now that can be another post later in the week. I have met some interesting people, and a subject has come up recently that I've never really had to face in life before, so that could make for an interesting story as well.

Until then...

Round Peg, Square Hole

Until today, I thought one of the most unfuckable people in the world was the guy my mom has been dating since I was 15.  I'd describe him for you but I just had processed meat for lunch and I'm already not very good at keeping that down.

The Chicago Hot Dog.  With all those pickled vegetables, where's the room for the cream cheese? #seattledog

Everything has changed.  I try not to judge people too harshly unless I am given a reason, so I almost felt bad about this guy I temporarily coexisted with on the bus, with his size x-large K-Mart wifebeater hugging his midsection, constraining what can only be imagined as an outie belly button the size of a tennis ball and showing off a skin tag on his shoulder blade that I would describe as a birthday balloon deflated only enough for the party to have been maybe 4 or 5 days ago.  He had on saggy black basketball shorts and something around his head to the effect of an old engine room rag twirled into a thin strip, likely to keep the sweat on his bald head from dripping onto his face, which was being violently molested by his finger around the nasal area.

Alas, I was given a reason to comment after all of these thoughts had already run through my head.  This man was standing on the bus in all of his lack of physical glory, walking to the front, and as the bus approached a stop, would hurry the people getting on the bus -- no one moved fast enough for him.

All the same, when passengers would be disembarking, he would chime in, "Hurry!  Hurry!  Come on, now!"  The young women getting off the bus were treated no better, but were I'm sure feeling like ladies when he would rush them with direct eye contact on their tits and asses.  Dick.

It's certainly a strange coincidence that after I got off this bus with this fat piece of shit, I get home, check the mail, and I have something delivered to me from W.I.T.S, or World Instructor Training Schools.  You see, back in June of 2012 (a year ago), I had finished up a 9 week personal training certification course.  The whole process was kind of a joke.  It was once a week, the instructor was nice a hot, beefy drill sergeant or even a lean, fit, perky young lady with a positive outlook on life.  It was a pear shaped woman in her late 50's/early 60's who was apparently some sort of dance instructor who wore a pressured grin the entire 9 weeks and had a short temper.  Ok, that last part might not be quite true, but she looked a lot like my bitter, awful drama teacher back in high school, so that's where that might have come from.

Anyway, this entire class had very little hands-on training whatsoever and I honestly didn't feel like I learned a lot.  And probably didn't, because when it came to taking the final, I passed the hands-on stuff with flying colors (things were kind of a 'duh' in general) and barely passed the written with a 74% or something thereabouts.  Either way, I passed.  So to complete this certification, all I needed was to do a 30 hour internship at a gym.  Yeah, that's nothing.

I did what I needed to do, sent in the forms a few weeks before I moved to Chicago, and then today I received a large yellow envelope in the mail.   I brought it to my room, ripped it open, looked through all the papers about continuing education, business certification courses and whatnot, and finally at the bottom of the pile was my certificate.  

Pretty cool.  Except I just looked it over and it's good for two years from the completion of my course.  Which was June 9, 2012.  So it's good for less than a year now.  Great.  $650 later...

Will I use it?  We'll see.  Will I continue my efforts in becoming more certified with perhaps a more well-rounded program?  If I get into the personal training business this year, then yeah, probably.  Maybe an employer will help me get on track with a more valid certification.  I've been told that these W.I.T.S certifications aren't the most widely accepted.  

Maybe I'll do a personal personal training gig.  Like, through Craigslist or something.  I'm more interested in motivating those who want a lifestyle change when it comes to their diet, getting healthy, and losing weight.  Those TV shows where people are motivated and put in the effort into changing themselves to look better and potentially living much longer have always flirted among my interests.  I'm not so much about helping people bulk up, because let's face it... I need help with that myself.

Chicagotube

Nothing special.  A video I made in the past week with a bunch of outdated information that y'all already know about.

Enjoy!