Best Defense

Today I made a purchase that was probably a smart move, but a purchase made that I didn't want to have to make, because it addresses in the front of my head that at certain times throughout my week, I may be in danger.

You know when you're not necessarily rolling in the dough, and you avoid looking at your bank account because if you can't see it, it's not real?  It's kind of like that.

Today I purchased some mace off of Amazon.

No, not that kind of mace.  As in pepper spray.  "Police grade" they call it.

Last night I was leaving work at midnight, and I was entering the Redline station at Addison.  I heard yelling and shouting inside as I entered, and this girl outside with a stroller said to me, "You might not want to go in there," but she seemed a little out of sorts/crazy so I went in anyway.  I couldn't see anything happening, but heard a lot of different people who forgot to use their inside voices.

I enter the train station, and behind the turnstiles is a large group of thuggish men, fighting, and with blood all over their clothes.  I checked my surroundings and there were $5 Footlongs from Subway thrown all over the ground, and also on the ground there were several puddles of blood, and spatterings around as well.

People seem to have trouble understanding what's going on in that photo, so know that it's all the ground, and the can there is a decal on the floor advertising Coors Light.  And that's some blood next to it.  Quite a bit of blood (scale is hard to make out in this photo -- sorry)

The neighborhood where I live seems relatively safe... but anything can happen anywhere.  I see troubling looking people all over Chicago -- the city that has surpassed New York City as the most violent in the nation.  That's a title not worth scoffing at.

The neighborhood in which I work has become, from what I've been told, more and more dangerous in the past year or so.  A bunch of undesirables have made their way from the south side and like to party it up in Boystown and cause all sorts of trouble with people walking along the street.  No fun.

So now I will be carrying mace with me, in my pocket, in my hand, as I walk from work to the train station late at night.  It worries me though.  I've never used anything like that.  If I'm confronted with someone with a weapon, will I actually take the risk to pull out the mace, aim it at their face, and press the button?  Too many thoughts would occur.  What if I miss?  What if they reach out to stab me while being temporarily blinded?  What if I'm not fast enough?  

What if I'm outnumbered?  It's a bit of peace of mind, I guess, since my only protection before this was holding my keys in my hand, and knowing I'm a ridiculously fast runner... but who's for sure that they're not faster?

It's something.  Probably a smart idea.  At least if I am confronted by someone, I have an option to defend myself and that's always a good thing.  Now, if I'm blindsided and punched in the face at random, that's something else.  I just want to avoid the blood in my veins spilling out into the open air and onto the surfaces surrounding me.  That would be totally uncool.